The Role of Fathers

 

            The things I learned about this week made me reflect on my childhood and how, I was raised by my parents. I recognize how blessed I was to know both sides of my biology. Having a dad in the home, I believe helped me find my identity. Knowing both parents plays a huge role in our lives. The research shows that having both parents present an increase in a child’s wellbeing. Academically, socially, emotionally and cognitively. The results of these areas only improve when child rearing is done in the bounds of matrimony.

            My parents got marriage in my mid-teens years and I love that my parents stayed together. There decision to be marriage made, marriage more important to me. Having my parents married made me feel closer to my father. Having a father present is especially important as well. Having a father/husband in the home prevents adverse impacts on a child’s success in life. that is if by success you are looking at job security and how well they doing academically. I’ll add that I believe the roles in fatherhood and motherhood are different yet equal in importance.  There are things that moms can do, that dads can’t and there are things that dads can do which moms can’t. It is known that a person needs three things to find themselves out of poverty. Those three things are high school diploma, wait to have children until they are married and lastly a job and this could be any job. Both of my grandfathers were absent from my parent’s lives. I believe this played a big part in my parents, parenting styles. My mother had a hold of the wheel and acted authoritarian at times. My dad took a seat in the back and I saw him as being permissive almost always. I can see in my sibling’s adult lives they struggle with being self-efficient and having confidence in themselves. This has taken that form of piggybacking on my mother at times.

             I have been married for 9 months now. I think about what kind of family culture will my wife and I will have? I been blessed that; I chose someone that views the world so similarly. It’s been wonderful having someone to build a new set of family norms with. We discuss about our marriage and our friend’s marriages, also how marriage was done centuries ago. I seek to borrow the very best things from other cultures and make them a familiar pattern to the family my wife and I will raise. I love that we have an understand that we have a partnership with God. We give each other the finest resource there is which is time. In class we talked about this family therapist name Salvador Minuchin. Minuchin, proclaimed that the best family structure is the one where mom and dad are leaders in the home. The children are raised to respect those boundaries. I agree that the best structure for a home is when spouse, puts each other first. The family is only as strong as the marriage! I have seen that to biggest disturber of that strength to marriage is placing children first. It’s true that parents have a responsibility to tend to the needs of their children and children are entitled to loving parents. But where is the family being led when the leaders of that family are out of sorts? Nowhere, I want to be again! You may think that I am saying parents should never fight and that is the furthest from the truth. It’s healthy to argue on things with each other, when there’s a point.

            I hope you enjoyed reading my point of views, the end!