Dating

 

In class we discussed about dating. Thinking about my experience dating, is a quiet humor of mine. My approach to dating could be seen as something laughable. Just, ask my brother I’m sure he’ll laugh for hours talking about it with you. Anyway, the biggest theme that was covered this week was the difference between hanging out and dating. The difference is dating is planned, paid for (preferably by the guy), and paired off.  Hangouts to me just requires people to exert the minimal effort to show up somewhere. I embraced this trend with my fellow cohort. Most people are afraid of rejection so they stick to the low pressure of a hangout. Perhaps, you’re like me and lack the ability for creativity and feels dating will suck the bank account dry. After dating seriously for so long maybe your heart just feels spent and needs a break. After experiencing 10 or so years of look for the best mate, learned a lot about making a complete fool of myself. My biggest mistake I feel I made for all those years was build my relationship around emotions. It’s an exciting thing to feel an attraction for someone. I would feel an evolved sense of happiness and I would carry that feeling up until the point the relationship ran its course. I wasn’t in my relationships for anyone else except for myself.  I never had fun with the girls dating because I was too afraid to lose it. However, you can’t hide those special moments away because you end up losing them anyway. Now with 10 months of marriage under my belt I have learned a few things. Emotions are fleeting and it’s best to build your relationship on something more solid like a friendship. My marriage has taught me what it means to forget myself and getting over myself. Also, life is one-hundred percent better when your giving your heart away.

Maybe some insight about each phase that leads to the blessing of marriage. During the dating phase, while your young enjoy it! Have this be a moment to learn and collect information about how to treat someone properly and also learn what you like. Once, you found that person you decided you don’t want to live without, if you’re religious involve Heavenly Father about your choice. If you feel things are good and they like you back (kind of important in a relationship) The enjoy your courtship never stopping dating, but really build on togetherness, doing activities together and no TV doesn’t count. Talk! Find out more about what you have in common and work on self-disclosure. Lastly but in the best resource the life can give and that’s time.  It’s said that we don’t really start to know someone until after 3 months with them. Thinking about this, I would caution that there are some like me that would get lost in my feelings for someone. Those kinds of things can make you think you know someone way more than you do. Then you start giving your trust away and that’s a fast way to get yourself hurt or mistreated. The best way to avoid this is to train yourself to stay out of your head and get back to the fun.

After all the struggles and shifting through the time it’s takes to build a strong relationship. When you find yourself ready to be engaged, I would say congratulations! That moment when you look inside someone ready to give all you are that is the most terrifying and one of the best moments anyone can go through. I am an advocate of marriage. I love that I have gone through the steps to spend all eternity with my wife. Marriage is hard but its also good and worth it. for those that find dating difficult, I did and most people do. Don't give up! Stopping looking and let the process take you to them.