Sexual Intimacy

 

                Funny enough it was quite educational discussing sexual intimacy this week. Before anyone who reads this is nervous that I am just going to give the full scoop on my sex life. I’ll ease your minds and say that stuff is private and should be kept between husband and wife.  Saying that remind me of a time, I was on Facebook. Some random guy that I didn’t know personally, but I think was a friend of my siblings? He was hinting strongly that he wanted to know “how things were going”.  First of all, I don’t know you like that and even if I did. You aren’t getting me to spill the sacredness of my alone time with my wife. Anyway, I think I made my point, there will be no personal sex stories. I will, however talk about what makes meaningful sex and things I wasn’t aware when I was young, that I am glad I know now.

                If you have read my last blogs. By now you should know that I am a religious man. Also, I am someone that is building my understanding to be the best advocate of marriage that I can be. With that being said I strongly support that God made man and women to be together. This the perfect combination for procreation. I truly believe that being married to my wife will provide the set of advantages for my future children. We can choose what we think, but God thinks in truth and that truth is light. Before I get to far in talking about children lets discuss what I feel builds a marriage.

                I do believe that sexual chemistry is important. I will also say that sex is an area that will be visited the least in any relationship. However, in sex it is important to have communication. Communication will increase your intimacy (the actual meaning of intimacy) and then by way of nature sex will just improve. Knowing your partner will make a huge difference. I am referring to what you and your spouse are into. I am also talking about being open mentally, physically, emotionally all that jazz. I learned this week that females need to feel safe, warm, and close to there partner in order to engage sexually with their partner. I see evidence of that in my own relationship with my wife. If she is focused on other things then sorry buddy it’s not going to happen.  It is interesting enough that men want to be sexual in order to feel safe, warm, and close with their partner. We both want the same thing, but at different times.

                I wasn’t born yesterday, so I am aware to the fact that people are promiscuous and do have sex outside of marriage. Everyone should be free to chose how they want to present themselves. Not everyone has the same view on life or even on religion. But I’ll share something that changed the way I view relationships with the opposite sex. I learned about something called the R.A.M. This stands for relationship attachment model. It goes over five main characteristics we have with others: Know, Trust, Rely, commit, and Touch.  Knowing someone should be the highest on your scale with those you are attached to. The more you know this person before you engage in sexual activity will save you a whole lot of heart ache (consequences). As it goes, know more than you trust, trust more than you rely on someone, rely more than you commit to them and lastly commit more than you would touch. As I have following this model, I have prepared myself a loving partner that builds me, instead of breaks me down. There are better ways to find happiness and we don’t have to put ourselves in harms way to obtain it. This will give you the kind of sex partner you want and need.